With a third of the Premier League season left, Manchester United find themselves in fifth place, six points behind Manchester City and the all-important fourth Champions League spot. It’s not impossible for United to pass City, but given their inconsistency this season it’s unlikely.

If you ever wanted to know how hard one could kick a soccer ball and yet still maintain the necessary control to steer it goalwards, this volleyed goal Athletic Club’s Aritz Aduriz just scored is a good case study:

It seems like we see one of these at least once every couple months: two players converging on a ball, one going for the slide while the other keeps a foot in to scoop the ball away, and the latter coming out the other side with a flapping tibia. You probably don’t want to see this, but here’s a gif:

Here’s Robin van Persie, proving that the tradition of tunelessly belting out your favorite songs while riding along in cars is a phenomenon that spans the globe. What he lacks in vocal quality he more than makes up for in song choice, lyrical knowledge, and commitment to really going for it. Props.

Real Madrid visited Italian side AS Roma today in the first leg of their Champions League Round of 16 tie and beat the home side, 2-0. The first goal was a dang thunderbastard from Cristiano Ronaldo. You should see it. You deserve to see it. Here it is:

Here you have basically Gent’s entire defense getting humiliated by Wolfsburg’s Julian Draxler. One center back gifts Draxler the ball on a terrible back pass, his partner scoots over to confront the attacker only to get nutmegged, and before the right back can slide tackle the ball away, Draxler flips it coolly over…

What some people who don’t pay close attention to the team may have missed regarding Barcelona’s trick penalty play this weekend is that, while primarily driven by a desire to do cool shit, it was also probably a reaction to the team’s general penalty woes this season. And so it was no surprise when Luis Suárez…

Russia and Turkey aren’t on the best of terms right now, for lots of complicated reasons. Playing off these tensions yesterday was Lokomotiv Moscow’s Dmitri Tarasov, who revealed a Vladimir Putin shirt underneath his jersey during his team’s Europa League match against Turkish club Fenerbahçe.

Today in the Champions League Round of 16, Chelsea, an English midtable club best known for generously overpaying players and whose name was uttered alongside words like “relegation” just weeks ago, bravely stormed across the English Channel to take on French champions Paris Saint-Germain, who have had Ligue 1 wrapped…

Barcelona did something really fun and cool last weekend. Well, they did many fun and cool things, but the most memorable and somewhat controversial thing was Lionel Messi’s penalty fake-out. So when Cristiano Ronaldo took the podium today ahead of Real Madrid’s Champions League match tomorrow, it was only natural…

There’s only one rational explanation for the insane swerve and dip Penang’s Mohd Faiz Subri puts on this ball that allows it to fly every which way, completely bamboozling the keeper, before hitting the side of the net from a distance and angle where it should be nigh-impossible to score from: magic.

Tending goal may be kind of boring compared to the other positions in soccer, but just because you don’t get much time on the ball to show off your tekkers doesn’t mean the answer is to start playing keepy-uppy with a back pass as a man charges you down, as Lincoln City’s Paul Farman learned the hard way.

César Flores was refereeing an amateur soccer match in the Córdoba province of Argentina when he sent one player off. In anger, the player left the field to get something from his bag. A short time later, the player returned to the field with a gun and shot the ref to death.

You can’t swing a dead cat in Brooklyn without hitting an Arsenal-scarf-wearing, artisanal-coffee-in-a-mason-jar-sipping soccer fan, and you don’t even have to look too far these days to find Swansea City, Sunderland, and Fulham fans in the U.S.

It will never be remembered, but this weekend’s Barcelona-Celta Vigo match, which finished 6-1 thanks to a Luis Suárez hat trick, a collection of stunning and inventive instances of Lionel Messi’s trademark magic, and a single iconic moment when Barcelona’s three world-conquering forwards took the idea of the penalty…

You’d be hard-pressed to find a purer distillation of why Arsenal beat Leicester City yesterday 2-1, and of why the Gunners were always likely to eventually run down for the league title the greatest story in sports, than that final fateful sequence.

Barcelona were so bored with a second-half ass-kicking of Celta that they executed a trick penalty, with Lionel Messi dumping off to a sprinting Luis Suárez—who completed his hat trick with the goal. Cheeky? Disrespectful? Hilarious? All of the above.

The Premier League season is a brutally long slog through 38 games from August to May, where teams must balance ambitions on as many as four fronts, while managing health and keeping everyone happy. It’s about not breaking down as much as it is about throttling every opponent. So it’s easy to lose the fact that tiny…

Atletico Madrid’s feisty winger Yannick Carrasco left his team’s game at Getafe with this twisted ankle. After falling to the floor in pain, Carrasco tried to get helped to the tunnel, but he was eventually carried off the pitch.

As Ivorian international Serge Aurier found out this week, hosting a smoked-out Periscope session where you call your boss and teammates a bunch of homophobic slurs isn’t exactly a good PR move. The Paris Saint-Germain right back is in some hot water for the following video, wherein he says some rather nasty things…