This Ridiculous Érik Lamela Goal Will Make You Feel Things

OK. Forget the stakes for a second. Forget that these are two bored teams playing in a second-tier tournament. Forget that Érik Lamela has gone his whole career without developing anything resembling a right foot, and still probably makes more money in a week than you do in a year. Is this the sexiest Rabona goal… » 10/23/14 4:14pm Yesterday 4:14pm

Everton Fans Attacked By Up To 100 Hooligans in Lille

Everton fans enjoying an away day in Lille, France were attacked with metal chairs by a swarm of goons, according to the Liverpool ECHO. Everton plays Lille in a Europa League match Thursday night, and with Lille only a five-hour train ride from Merseyside, somewhere around 10,000 fans made the trip to France. » 10/22/14 9:58pm Wednesday 9:58pm

Portland Timbers Boss Gets Owned By Supporters Group On Twitter

Tempers were high after the Portland Timbers failed to advance in the CONCACAF Champions League in decidedly unlikely circumstances. The Twitter account of the Timbers Army, the franchise's supporters group, vented about the lack of defensive reinforcements brought in, spurring the franchise's owner, Merritt… » 10/22/14 2:10pm Wednesday 2:10pm

Paris Saint-Germain Are Bullshit

We can't keep letting PSG do this. Yesterday, the French giants took on Cyprian giants/world ants APOEL in Champions League play. This was a match even schizophrenic PSG couldn't muck up, right? No. Instead of a dominating performance on a day full of them, we saw another typically lackadaisical display from the… » 10/22/14 12:47pm Wednesday 12:47pm

Bayern Munich Are Beating The Motherfucking Brakes Off AS Roma [Update]

This wasn't supposed to happen. This was supposed to be the best Champions League game of the day, where we found out whether AS Roma, Italy's second-best team, could match or even best visiting German champions FC Bayern. After 38 minutes and five Bayern goals, the answer is quite clearly "nah." » 10/21/14 4:05pm Tuesday 4:05pm

Report: To Escape Qatari Heat, World Cup Matches Might Start At 1 A.M.

Despite overwhelming evidence of corruption, it doesn't look like Qatar will be losing its 2022 World Cup hosting privileges. Which still leaves that little problem of how to play in the heart of a Middle Eastern summer. One new proposal involves pushing back start times into the night and early morning, with the… » 10/20/14 5:41pm Monday 5:41pm

This Shameful Display Of Mass Injury-Faking Is The Pinnacle Of Diving

Here it is, soccer haters. If any of you needed that one crucial piece of evidence that the sport's players were a bunch of diving, playacting wimps, this video showing five Defensor Bolívar players faking injuries, forcing the ref to end the match eight minutes early, should be just what you've waited for. » 10/20/14 11:56am Monday 11:56am

Soccer Player Dies After Goal Celebration Goes Horribly Wrong

In the 62nd minute, the goal finally came. Bethlehem Vengthlang FC were trailing Chanmari West FC, 1-0, last Tuesday in India's Mizoram Premier League, but midway through the second half, a free kick bounced inexplicably through the box, past Chanmari West's keeper, off the post, and back to an awaiting BVFC player:… » 10/20/14 11:03am Monday 11:03am

How Homegrown Stars Like Gyasi Zardes Are Transforming MLS

Gyasi Zardes is one the best attacking players in MLS right now, and he is neither a wrung-out superstar cashing in chips on an American soccer vacation nor a USMNT star boomeranging back home for regular playing time. His 16 goals for the LA Galaxy are the most of any American (and fifth-most in MLS) and he's a big… » 10/19/14 4:09pm Sunday 4:09pm

Smoke, Flares, Riot Police In Belgrade Derby Make For Haunting Photos

Partizan and Red Star met today for the premier rivalry in Serbia's SuperLiga. The fan atmosphere was the real star. From these photos, you can see the countless flares billowing unending stacks of smoke into the stands and on the pitch, all in front of the numerous riot police. It all combines for some amazing shots: » 10/18/14 6:03pm Saturday 6:03pm

Lionel Messi Almost Scoring Is More Impressive Than Most Actual Goals

A player broadly similar to Lionel Messi might've been what Johan Cruyff imagined Barcelona would produce after implementing his philosophy, but not even the Dutchman could've foreseen this Argentine's specific genius. I mean, try to prevent your jaw from dropping when he merely gets close to scoring: » 10/18/14 4:20pm Saturday 4:20pm

Alex Morgan Out Of World Cup Qualifying After This Nasty Ankle Injury

Alex Morgan will miss the rest of the USWNT's World Cup qualifying matches because of a sprained ankle she picked up during Thursday's game against Guatemala. It's an unfortunate set-back for a player with a history of ankle injuries, but thankfully it doesn't look as serious as it could've been. » 10/18/14 2:51pm Saturday 2:51pm