Freddy Adu Scored The Saddest Free Kick You'll Ever See

Remember Freddy Adu? Remember the guy that was supposed to save American soccer? Four months ago he signed with Kuopion Palloseura, in the Finnish first division. They’re the eleventh team the still-somehow-only-26-year-old Adu has played for: D.C. United —> Real Salt Lake —> Benfica —> AS Monaco —> Belenenses… » 7/02/15 10:20pm Thursday 10:20pm

"The Worst Team In The World" Is Living Its World Cup Dream

THIMPHU, Bhutan – Six to zero. 6-0. The final score of the June 16 China-Bhutan World Cup qualifier was six to freaking zero in favor of the Chinese. And do you know what the Bhutanese fans did after the game? They sang to the players. They cheered. They screamed with absolute joy when the keeper, Hari Gurung,… » 7/02/15 2:35pm Thursday 2:35pm

Chicharito Fractures Collarbone, Could Miss Gold Cup

Mexico will be without their starting striker for much of the Gold Cup. During last night’s friendly against Honduras in Houston, Chicharito left in the 40th minute after suffering an apparent fractured collarbone. Chicharito was fouled while tracking down a wayward pass, landed on his shoulder awkwardly, and… » 7/02/15 1:49am Thursday 1:49am

England Lose World Cup Semifinal In Most Heartbreaking Fashion Possible

For 90 minutes, England stood toe-to-toe with Japan. The match was tied 1-1, with each team having scored a penalty kick, and as the clock ticked into extra time, it looked like we would need 30 more minutes to decide the tie. And then, English defender Laura Bassett made a touch that will haunt her for the rest of… » 7/01/15 9:09pm Wednesday 9:09pm

Lionel Messi Turns Two Defenders Into Larry And Moe

Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless on the grass as… » 7/01/15 2:28pm Wednesday 2:28pm

How The USWNT Finally Figured It Out

After toiling in mediocrity for the whole tournament, with players playing out of position, no organizational structure, and no defined individual roles, the USWNT finally came out last night looking like the World Cup favorites we all thought they’d be. Because of that, we’re left with one question: the hell took so… » 7/01/15 12:58pm Wednesday 12:58pm

An Ode to Sydney Leroux's Eyelashes

Everywhere I go, people are talking trash about Sydney Leroux’s fake eyelashes. To be fair, I’ve been in Canada, where she’s particularly reviled. I get it, she turned her back on you, Canada. You’re hurt. But through the pain, I beg you, do not bring her eyelashes into this. Because let’s be real: those eyelashes are… » 6/30/15 4:42pm Tuesday 4:42pm

Spain Files Legal Appeal Against Qatar's Winter World Cup

Before Swiss agents rolled up on Zurich’s Baur au Lac hotel, snatched a handful of top FIFA execs, and put in motion the series of events that would culminate in their president’s resignation, soccer’s governing body seemed pretty much omnipotent. That day has changed, thankfully, and people are making moves. » 6/29/15 4:07pm Monday 4:07pm

FIFA Screwed France Out Of The Tournament, And It's Bullshit

Immediately following France’s loss to Germany in the Women’s World Cup quarterfinal, a rightfully frustrated Camille Abily lashed out at FIFA’s seeding protocols. As anyone who bothered to look ahead could see, those teams—probably the two best in the world—were always on a collision course at that early stage in the… » 6/29/15 2:02pm Monday 2:02pm

Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack

Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. » 6/28/15 12:20pm 6/28/15 12:20pm