Zinedine Zidane No Longer Has To Pretend Not To Coach Team He Coaches

A couple months ago, we told you about how Zinedine Zidane, manager of Real Madrid Castilla, was under investigation for not having the proper coaching qualifications. The Frenchman had two ways to fight the impending punishment: either cadge up the qualifications or deny that he was actually the manager. Lo and… » 11/21/14 1:29pm Yesterday 1:29pm

Xabi Alonso Forced To Apologize To Ronaldo For Stupid, Fake Controversy

Remember that dumb story Real Madrid pitched to their stooges at Marca yesterday, where some milquetoast statements of Xabi Alonso's were folded, kneaded, and ultimately transformed into direct insults to former teammates Cristiano Ronaldo and Iker Casillas? Well, it worked. » 11/21/14 11:44am Yesterday 11:44am

Shitty Swiss Team Cuts 11 Players After Youth Team Blows Them Out 10-0

FC Grenchen, of Switzerland's fourth division, suck at soccer. In their last nine matches, they've collected all of zero points while shipping 66—yes, 66—goals, 10 of which came at the feet of FC Luzern's youth squad. Following that horrific result, Grenchen's sporting director decided to cut 11 players. » 11/20/14 6:30pm Thursday 6:30pm

Meet Marca, The Hilarious Propaganda Arm Of Real Madrid

It's maybe a little difficult for Americans to grasp just how deeply and blatantly in the tank the European press can be for the local XI. And no one is deeper and more blatantly in the tank for the local XI than the media in Spain, where the local XI means either Barcelona and Real Madrid and where the address of the… » 11/20/14 1:58pm Thursday 1:58pm

Wigan Owner Doubles Down On New Manager's Racism And Antisemitism

Wigan Athletic courted controversy this week by hiring Malky Mackay, who is under investigation by the FA for assorted bigoted and offensive text messages that were sent more than a year ago but came to light over the summer. Wigan owner Dave Whelan spoke with the Guardian today, and offered a defense of, essentially, » 11/20/14 1:44pm Thursday 1:44pm

Ivory Coast Fans Mob Pitch As Team Qualifies For Africa Cup Of Nations

Ivory Coast took on Cameroon at home in Abidjan today, in their final match of 2015 Africa Cup of Nations qualification. With three minutes of stoppage time left, and both teams assured of qualifying with a 0-0 draw, Cameroon was content to let the Ivory Coast pass the ball around unmolested. » 11/19/14 10:53pm Wednesday 10:53pm

Dion Earl Denies Sex Claims: "Have You Ever Seen A Picture Of My Wife?"

Dion Earl was on the speaker phone with his wife, Laurel, explaining why he never could've sexually assaulted that cheerleader. "Have you ever seen a picture of my wife?" he asked. "My wife is 10 times better looking than Elizabeth." Laurel laughed. » 11/19/14 2:11pm Wednesday 2:11pm

French Club Suspected Of Bribing Opponents With Cases Of Wine Mid-Match

French officials have arrested the club presidents of newly promoted Ligue 1 side Caen and Ligue 2 club Nîmes for their suspected involvement in fixing a match at the end of last year's Ligue 2 season. What did the Caen players receive for their services? According to one report, cases of wine delivered at halftime. » 11/18/14 5:05pm Tuesday 5:05pm

Despots, Serial Killers, And Dick Jokes: Football Manager's Banned Names

From the sheer number of funny names assigned to the randomly generated players in Football Manager, you may have assumed there is no filter on name combinations. And while you may have seen a "Willy Pinas" or two, you haven't seen a "Adolf Hitler," "Tim McVeigh," or a "Dick Licka" for a good reason. » 11/17/14 12:06pm Monday 12:06pm

German Football League Threatens FIFA Over Unreleased World Cup Report

FIFA finally released a summary of their report into the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, and to the surprise of absolutely nobody it basically cleared Qatar, Russia, and current FIFA officials of any wrongdoing. The 42-page report was written by FIFA ethics committee judge Hans-Joachim Eckert, and… » 11/15/14 5:54pm 11/15/14 5:54pm

Argentine Club President Runs Up In Players' Homes 40 Deep, Robs Them

Jorge Abib is the club president of Argentina's Textil Mandiyú. He is insane. Why, just last night, multiple Textil players accused a possibly drugged-up Abib of rolling up to the players' apartment building with around 40 club ultras, busting into dozens of rooms, and breaking everything in sight while demanding the… » 11/14/14 6:07pm 11/14/14 6:07pm

Chart: The Average Player Salaries In Soccer Leagues Around The World

A lot of what we talk about when we compare different soccer leagues, from arguing which one's the best to which one's the deepest and even which plays the most attractive style, comes down to how much money is spent on players. In that sense, this Sportsmail chart listing the average salaries of players in 34 leagues… » 11/14/14 1:20pm 11/14/14 1:20pm

MLS Is Still Pissed Off At Jürgen Klinsmann

It was obvious at the time that MLS commissioner Don Garber's tirade against Jürgen Klinsmann last month was about much more than the innocuous statements they were ostensibly in response to. Sure enough, ESPN FC is reporting that MLS bigwigs remain "irate" at Klinsmann—this time for what they see as his pushiness in… » 11/14/14 12:19pm 11/14/14 12:19pm