How Hulk Became The World's Most Underappreciated Superstar

If there's one good thing about the handful of great players plying their trade in Russia—and it would be the only good thing, mind you—it's that their home Champions League ties often start a few hours before the rest. That timeslot gives their abilities at least a modicum of the attention they deserve yet so often… » 10/01/14 10:00am Today 10:00am

Finnish Soccer Announcer Blows Gasket When Team Scores, Wins Promotion

There is no sweeter song extolling the virtues of a promotion fight than this Finnish announcer's guttural screams of pure delight after FC Santa Claus scored the deciding goal, guaranteeing them a spot in the third tier next season. Quick, someone give Fox Soccer this guy's number. » 9/30/14 12:03pm Yesterday 12:03pm

Looks Like The Manchester United Traveling Circus Might Really Happen

During the latter stages of last season, there were rumors that United might partake in a tour of the Middle East and Asia during the missing midweek Champions League fixtures that otherwise would've filled the schedule and coffers. It was funny enough to mention in passing, but too outlandish to be taken seriously.… » 9/30/14 11:28am Yesterday 11:28am

Report: MLS Will Shut Down Chivas USA

Per ESPN, Chivas USA is expected to cease operations after season's end and remain dormant for a minimum of two years before coming back as a totally different club, which is a politically correct way to say they're blowing it all up and starting over. It's the nuclear option for an MLS club that seemed doomed from… » 9/29/14 5:30pm Monday 5:30pm

Can A Ref With No Red Card Send Someone Off? One Player Investigates

It's an interesting question, one that Guingamp's Benjamin Angoua tried valiantly to answer this weekend when, as the ref tried to show a red to a teammate, Angoua nipped and slapped at the card, hoping the ref would either listen to reason or get tired of trying to snatch the damn thing out of the air. » 9/29/14 12:21pm Monday 12:21pm

How To Be A Soccer Fan

Towards the tail end of this past World Cup, more than a few readers emailed us looking for guidance on how to become a soccer fan. Never ones to disappoint our adoring readership, we've now obliged. Here's how we imagine that conversation would go. » 9/26/14 2:25pm Friday 2:25pm

The Worst Punishment For Luis Suárez Is Forcing Him To Play Teenagers

The worst part of Luis Suárez's suspension for the player himself probably hasn't been the jokes about his cannibalistic supervillain image, nor missing out on the early parts of this promising Barcelona season, nor the weekly adulation from tens of thousands of fans he used to receive whenever he stepped on the pitch… » 9/24/14 6:02pm 9/24/14 6:02pm

FIFA's Independent Investigator Wants His Corruption Report Released

FIFA hired an outside investigator to conduct a probe into allegations of bribery in the bidding process for the Russia and Qatar World Cups. That investigator, a former U.S. federal prosecutor, has finally submitted his findings to FIFA with the expectation that they would eventually be released to the public. But… » 9/24/14 4:52pm 9/24/14 4:52pm

Ghanaian Soccer Star Denies Rumors He Ritually Sacrificed Rapper Friend

In the second confrontation—the first involving kicking the shit out of a journalist for inquiring on the subject—of rumors that Asamoah Gyan had his old friend, the rapper Castro, ritually sacrificed to benefit his career, the Gyan family has released a long statement denying the allegations. » 9/24/14 12:36pm 9/24/14 12:36pm

What Are The Most Successful Formations In The Premier League?

Soccer formations are hard to pin down. They come in and out of fashion almost seasonally; their success will largely rest on which top teams adopt or abandon them; and there are an infinite number of permutations of each. All that said, why not poke our heads in on a broad survey of how various formations have… » 9/24/14 12:24pm 9/24/14 12:24pm