In some kind of convoluted branding exercise, Russian soccer club Zenit St. Petersburg introduced a slightly off Bart Simpson as its new player today. Synergy!

The team's press release notes that Bart will wear number 87 to commemorate the year of the first season of The Simpsons, but fails to mention which position he's expected to play.

Those eyes. So open yet so lifeless.

[Extra Mustard]